You are like the fall scene's landscape of
amber,
yellow
and still yet green reflecting in the lake.
The image slightly distorted by the wind dancing lightly on the surface of the water.
As each days' sun gives way to the night's moon who you were fades...
next fall will I still recognize you in the reflections?
originally posted on 07/05/10
Thursday, December 24, 2015
Pam's Manifesto (Because EVERYONE should have their own Manifesto)
manifesto
a public declaration of intent, policy, aims, etc, as issue by a political party, government, or movement
Well I may not be a political party, or a government but maybe I'm a movement...I will be anyway if everyone would write one of these too!
My Manifesto...
I was thinking a lot last night that I need my own manifesto. A guide to how to live my life. Since I don't cling to illusionist fantasies I might need something. Ironically the ten commandments do come to mind as far as what to follow. Don't covert other people's Mercedes and Jags. Don't cheat. Respect your parents, etc. etc. etc. You know the whole yin and yang? What do you do if there's more yin than there is yang?
But seriously I don't believe you can live everyday like its your last because if you did would you ever make it into work? So, how can you balance your manifesto with the reality of your existence? A litany of cliches come to mind, "never let them see you sweat", "Siege the Day" (Carpe Diem in Latin but who knows Latin these days? Not me.)
So, when you wake up always open the door or walk around outside and listen to nature rising from it's sleep. That anchors you to the natural world. Believe (and know) that you are part of this rhythm - this morning awakening.
Do you best but don't kill yourself trying. After all you want to be here tomorrow. Unless of course you are going for the live like there's no tomorrow...then dismiss this rule. But then again why would you be trying to do your best?
Learn more than one thing a day. Really, the saying is learn one thing a day but that's way too limiting. Unless its one of those transcendental things that enlightens your perspective and let's you float in mid air!
Write everyday - even if its just a list of things to do.
Kiss your significant other everyday - and tell them you love them. Don't do this to random people though. Somehow the gesture doesn't translate well.
Find creative ways out of messes.
Make messes while being creative.
Put yourself first 90% of the time. Really, why should anyone ask you to put them first? What, are they that helpless?
Eat well - not too much but balanced, healthy and good food.
Listen to music everyday. Pretend your life is to a soundtrack. Pick a different one every day. (Hopefully you will not pick the Sound of Music.)
Sit outside on occasion and enjoy the cool breezes.
Drink in moderation but often.
Understand the other side. Sometimes argue the other side. Keep people guessing.
Know your limitations and ask for help.
Provide love and support to the ones you care about.
Don't sweat the small stuff and know the difference between small and momentarily large stuff and really BIG stuff!
originally posted on 08/06/10
a public declaration of intent, policy, aims, etc, as issue by a political party, government, or movement
Well I may not be a political party, or a government but maybe I'm a movement...I will be anyway if everyone would write one of these too!
My Manifesto...
I was thinking a lot last night that I need my own manifesto. A guide to how to live my life. Since I don't cling to illusionist fantasies I might need something. Ironically the ten commandments do come to mind as far as what to follow. Don't covert other people's Mercedes and Jags. Don't cheat. Respect your parents, etc. etc. etc. You know the whole yin and yang? What do you do if there's more yin than there is yang?
But seriously I don't believe you can live everyday like its your last because if you did would you ever make it into work? So, how can you balance your manifesto with the reality of your existence? A litany of cliches come to mind, "never let them see you sweat", "Siege the Day" (Carpe Diem in Latin but who knows Latin these days? Not me.)
So, when you wake up always open the door or walk around outside and listen to nature rising from it's sleep. That anchors you to the natural world. Believe (and know) that you are part of this rhythm - this morning awakening.
Do you best but don't kill yourself trying. After all you want to be here tomorrow. Unless of course you are going for the live like there's no tomorrow...then dismiss this rule. But then again why would you be trying to do your best?
Learn more than one thing a day. Really, the saying is learn one thing a day but that's way too limiting. Unless its one of those transcendental things that enlightens your perspective and let's you float in mid air!
Write everyday - even if its just a list of things to do.
Kiss your significant other everyday - and tell them you love them. Don't do this to random people though. Somehow the gesture doesn't translate well.
Find creative ways out of messes.
Make messes while being creative.
Put yourself first 90% of the time. Really, why should anyone ask you to put them first? What, are they that helpless?
Eat well - not too much but balanced, healthy and good food.
Listen to music everyday. Pretend your life is to a soundtrack. Pick a different one every day. (Hopefully you will not pick the Sound of Music.)
Sit outside on occasion and enjoy the cool breezes.
Drink in moderation but often.
Understand the other side. Sometimes argue the other side. Keep people guessing.
Know your limitations and ask for help.
Provide love and support to the ones you care about.
Don't sweat the small stuff and know the difference between small and momentarily large stuff and really BIG stuff!
originally posted on 08/06/10
Food For Thought - Some Ramblings
I was at a red light the other day and I got to thinking...what really keeps us stopping when the light is red? At this particular moment the idea of running the light wasn't really an option because I would have plowed into several cars going in the opposite direction. (Current motivation - staying alive.) But what if it's late at night and the light is red? Do I go? If I check both ways and I don't see a police car. (Dual motivations - staying alive and not wanting a ticket.) If I go what does that say about me? Okay, I've done it before. I admit. So, do I follow the rules for the right reasons or only when it suits me? How far would I take it? Everyone has their own barometer of what they would do if they could get away with it. Where is you limit?
originally posted on 08/18/10
originally posted on 08/18/10
You Couldn't Ignore Me if You Tried
After reading You Couldn't Ignore Me If You Tried by Susannah Gora I started thinking a lot about my teenage years. Basically the book is about how certain movies in the 1980s, mainly led by John Hughes, shaped not only cinema but the culture of teens. It's true what Gora says about these movies. They actually did understand what it was like to be a teenager. I remember feeling that the first time I saw the Breakfast Club. Leaving I remember thinking that they really understood what it was like. It wasn't the least bit condescending or judgemental about teens. Up to that point movies didn't really get it. I suppose Hollywood can easily loose touch. Maybe it's something about living in a gilded cage...
But, I decided to take what Gora said in this book and look at my teenage self. Occasionally, I glance back. We all do. We look at the High School Year Books, the photos (some taken on those fast producing Polaroids!) and remember a time that is long past. Certain songs will bring back memories. Our past is all around us if we stop and take a minute out to listen. Anyway I went a little deeper. I read through some of my old diaries. I don't want to bore anyone with the details of my teenage angst. The main thread of my existence back then was the tide of emotions that left me ecstatic one day to nearly suicidal the next. Mainly it could all be reduced to one word. It's a word that all teenage girls know all to well...it's boys. How quickly I feel in and out of "love" back then. It was a tragedy to break up with someone. But, the next day (I mean this literally the next day in some instances) I was going on and on about some new boy that I fell for.
It was really exhausting to read. Boys that to this day I can't remember anything about other than what appears on the pages of these diaries. I try to remember what they looked like. I can't really. What I do remember are silly things like the kind of sweater my first boyfriend gave me for Christmas. (lime green/blue) or where I was the first time I threw up drinking wine coolers (okay this has nothing to do with boys) (Whispering Hills parking lot - New Years Eve maybe 1986?).
Anyway, I'm glad my life is not quite so dramatic. Maybe the reason that as you get older you start to level off on your emotions is your heart, literally can't take it!!!
originally posted on 09/06/10
But, I decided to take what Gora said in this book and look at my teenage self. Occasionally, I glance back. We all do. We look at the High School Year Books, the photos (some taken on those fast producing Polaroids!) and remember a time that is long past. Certain songs will bring back memories. Our past is all around us if we stop and take a minute out to listen. Anyway I went a little deeper. I read through some of my old diaries. I don't want to bore anyone with the details of my teenage angst. The main thread of my existence back then was the tide of emotions that left me ecstatic one day to nearly suicidal the next. Mainly it could all be reduced to one word. It's a word that all teenage girls know all to well...it's boys. How quickly I feel in and out of "love" back then. It was a tragedy to break up with someone. But, the next day (I mean this literally the next day in some instances) I was going on and on about some new boy that I fell for.
It was really exhausting to read. Boys that to this day I can't remember anything about other than what appears on the pages of these diaries. I try to remember what they looked like. I can't really. What I do remember are silly things like the kind of sweater my first boyfriend gave me for Christmas. (lime green/blue) or where I was the first time I threw up drinking wine coolers (okay this has nothing to do with boys) (Whispering Hills parking lot - New Years Eve maybe 1986?).
Anyway, I'm glad my life is not quite so dramatic. Maybe the reason that as you get older you start to level off on your emotions is your heart, literally can't take it!!!
originally posted on 09/06/10
We are so afraid in this country that we can't think straight. True story and here are the facts.
We are so afraid in this country that we can't think straight. True story and here are the facts.
I've been concerned recently with all the angry words and in some case actions against people who are Christian. Oh, I'll say it people of the Muslim faith. Yeah, I was pissed off after 9/11. Who wasn't? Killing innocent people who were just showing up to work one Tuesday morning is just wrong. Or, traveling on a business trip or for pleasure that morning.
I think a lot of the anger has been brewing in us for years. When it was announced that a Mosque was going to be built two blocks from where the World Trade Center site was I was upset. At first I didn't think it was right. That was my first gut reaction. I'll admit it. But, I started thinking about what kind of country I wanted. Did I want a country that laid blame across entire groups of people for the misdeeds of a few?
People are upset. Our country is at a crossroad. There are those who want to divide us with their hate and others who are driven by a hopeful optimism that is not usually welcome in times like these. I offer that neither side is right or wrong but perhaps both are misguided.
Americans are afraid. That much is certain. But, not all Americans. Let's really talk about what is going on. Can we be honest? If we can't be honest then we can't fix it. The real sentence "Americans are afraid" needs to read white christian english speaking americans are afraid. Afraid that they will loose their place in our country when minorities are quickly becoming majorities. It's like the secret hidden in the corner. (what is the saying???) No one wants to loose their identity. But, what is America to you? What does it mean, to you, to be an American? If the minority becomes the majority will it really change what it means to be an America?
Oh, and please quit saying that Obama is a Socialist. If I hear that one more time I'm going screaming into Canada (where at least they have universal health care and last time I checked aren't going bankrupt). Almost everything you touch is regulated by the U.S. Government. So, please spare me and get over yourself. Again, it boils down fear.
We've offered a home to people from all over this earth.
originally posted on 09/15/10
originally posted on 09/15/10
Consumerism and Me and You (and anyone else who wants to join this conversation)
Two things happened today. First, I had an argument with my husband about my lack of motivation in saving money. More an argument on how I spend too much money on items he deems frivolous. Second, I glanced at all the shopping ads in today's newspaper. Can you believe they are already trying to get us to buy for Christmas? There are so many new glasses, plates and serving ware to buy for the upcoming holiday season. Plus, I can't really expect to use last year's table cloth for my dining room table, can I? I'm going to run out today and...
Stop. No, I will not. (I'll need to repeat this several times a day - but it will work - this time.) Why are we all buying this stuff? A gravy bowl? Well this one is special. It's double walled to keep the gravy warm. I don't have one of these already so I'm off to Bed Bath & Beyond right NOW! It doesn't matter that I don't actually entertain. All that matters is if I ever decide to I'll have that gravy bowl ready tucked somewhere in the back of my closet in it's original box for safe keeping.
No, I will not buy this gravy bowl. It's not something that I would want anyway. What tempts me the most are purses. Shoes used to get me but now that I walk around in my ugly, but very comfortable, crocs most of the time I don't feel the need to purchase shoes. At least most of the time. $20 shoes have lasted me 3 years. And to clean them all I have to do is take them outside and hose them down! But, purses are quite another thing. It doesn't matter that I already have like 50 purses hanging out in my closet waiting for their time to be used. I change my purses weekly. Sometimes I do envy those women who have one bag, dump everything but the kitchen sink into them and use it for years. They never change their purses! How do they do that? Don't they get bored? Ever?
In today's newspaper there was one particular ad that showed a purse I liked, and a couple of sweaters and a really neat coat. They are all on sale so what's the harm? Well, the fact that I already have enough purses for rotation this year, sweaters for 2 months (different one a day), and 4 coats should be enough.
I'm wondering though when will we all think enough is enough? The news media makes me feel guilty if I don't go out and shop the dire economic condition away. We have to boost the economy by spending money. I need to do my share. I'm not an economist and I don't know what it all means. I've read that Americans are (finally) saving more money again. I think we should. And I will. Right after I buy...
originally posted on 11/07/10
Stop. No, I will not. (I'll need to repeat this several times a day - but it will work - this time.) Why are we all buying this stuff? A gravy bowl? Well this one is special. It's double walled to keep the gravy warm. I don't have one of these already so I'm off to Bed Bath & Beyond right NOW! It doesn't matter that I don't actually entertain. All that matters is if I ever decide to I'll have that gravy bowl ready tucked somewhere in the back of my closet in it's original box for safe keeping.
No, I will not buy this gravy bowl. It's not something that I would want anyway. What tempts me the most are purses. Shoes used to get me but now that I walk around in my ugly, but very comfortable, crocs most of the time I don't feel the need to purchase shoes. At least most of the time. $20 shoes have lasted me 3 years. And to clean them all I have to do is take them outside and hose them down! But, purses are quite another thing. It doesn't matter that I already have like 50 purses hanging out in my closet waiting for their time to be used. I change my purses weekly. Sometimes I do envy those women who have one bag, dump everything but the kitchen sink into them and use it for years. They never change their purses! How do they do that? Don't they get bored? Ever?
In today's newspaper there was one particular ad that showed a purse I liked, and a couple of sweaters and a really neat coat. They are all on sale so what's the harm? Well, the fact that I already have enough purses for rotation this year, sweaters for 2 months (different one a day), and 4 coats should be enough.
I'm wondering though when will we all think enough is enough? The news media makes me feel guilty if I don't go out and shop the dire economic condition away. We have to boost the economy by spending money. I need to do my share. I'm not an economist and I don't know what it all means. I've read that Americans are (finally) saving more money again. I think we should. And I will. Right after I buy...
originally posted on 11/07/10
What's good for you one day is declared not good for you another...
So, last year I decided to start the year off right and take vitamins and supplements everyday. I went out and bought some good multi-vitamins, vitamin D and fish oil . I faithfully laid my daily douses out in one of those pill boxes marked for each day of the week. I even cut my multi-vitamins in half because I read once that it's too much for the body to absorb an entire tablet. It's best to divide it up. Maybe one in the morning and one at night. For a couple of months I took these daily. I was starting to actually feel better. Now that could be the placebo effect. But, then again what if it wasn't? Maybe taking these pills everyday was working. Then I read an article about vitamins. I think it was in Reader's Digest. The same magazine that years ago said vitamins were good and even provided a chart of which to take and in what doses. Anyway this article went on to say how we have all been duped and we shouldn't continue to take these vitamins. It's just overkill. Damn, so I thought if Reader's Digest thinks I shouldn't be taking these then I'll stop. And so I did. Right then and there. Flash forward to just a few weeks ago. Now another article about vitamins. It said go for it. The fear this article attempted to squelch is overdoing it. According to THIS writer no one has actually died from having too many vitamins.
Yesterday I dusted off my little pill divider box and carefully placed out my pills for each day of the week. I'm going to feel better (even if it's fake) and I'm not in any danger of dying from taking these little pills.
What is my take away lesson here? Do what you feel is best for you and don't listen to all the naysayers out there. Let's face it in the last few years there have been so many things that were once good that are now considered bad for you and vice versa. It will make you dizzy trying to keep up with it all.
originally posted on 01/02/11
originally posted on 01/02/11
Give me Liberty or Give me Death!
“Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
Benjamin Franklin
vs.
Full Body Scanners at airports.
Of course without security we might not have a life to enjoy liberty. But, what is the cost of our security? Full body scanners are creepy. I don't want anyone to be able to have this view of my body. We were told that these images wouldn't be made public but last week images were leaked. In this day in age we all know nothing is secret anymore. And what about the possibilities that the radiation from the scanners could be harmful? Do we just trust what we are told? Where has that gotten us?
Afghanistan, Iraq, deficit, republicans, democrats, tea baggers, organized religion, government listening to our phone calls, information gathering Facebook, debit cards, internet cookies (they really aren't delicious), google (sorry I love you but you are collecting all sorts of information about us along with Facebook.)
I guess I'm grateful that I'm not flying anytime soon. I might never fly again now. Well maybe after I loose 20 more pounds and get a boob lift. I'll need to look good for my photo. Do you think they are available wallet sized?
originally posted on 11/21/10
Benjamin Franklin
vs.
Full Body Scanners at airports.
Of course without security we might not have a life to enjoy liberty. But, what is the cost of our security? Full body scanners are creepy. I don't want anyone to be able to have this view of my body. We were told that these images wouldn't be made public but last week images were leaked. In this day in age we all know nothing is secret anymore. And what about the possibilities that the radiation from the scanners could be harmful? Do we just trust what we are told? Where has that gotten us?
Afghanistan, Iraq, deficit, republicans, democrats, tea baggers, organized religion, government listening to our phone calls, information gathering Facebook, debit cards, internet cookies (they really aren't delicious), google (sorry I love you but you are collecting all sorts of information about us along with Facebook.)
I guess I'm grateful that I'm not flying anytime soon. I might never fly again now. Well maybe after I loose 20 more pounds and get a boob lift. I'll need to look good for my photo. Do you think they are available wallet sized?
originally posted on 11/21/10
Getting Older
Time files when you are having fun...
Time seems to go faster as you get older...
Does that mean getting older = fun?
Somehow I doubt it.
originally posted on 12/23/10
Time seems to go faster as you get older...
Does that mean getting older = fun?
Somehow I doubt it.
originally posted on 12/23/10
2010...my year in review
Saying goodbye to 2010 is pretty easy for me. It wasn't the most eventful year. Which is to say actually maybe it was a good year. As you get older most unexpected events are not usually the happy sort anyway. So, what I mean to say 2010 was a peaceful, happily non-eventful year.
Here is my top 10 list of eventful events of 2010...
April 10th...It was a beautiful Saturday morning for the annual MS Walk. This day was all for Ann, my friend who was so happy that morning to be among family and friends that love and support her. I'll never forget her beaming face and joyful smiles. She was like a child on Christmas morning. I look forward to the 2011 MS Walk.
Entire Week of May 10th...Vacation Week. A week of reading, reading and sleeping.
May 14th. Planted gladiolus bulbs in my backyard this day. I drank too many mojitos (note to self let's not drink liquor while flipping soil in the heat again!). Anyway, it began to rain softly while thunder tipped toed in. I sat outside for a while and enjoyed the moment. It was just a peaceful way to spend time. The best part of these ramblings though is next year maybe (fingers crossed) one of my highlights will be the day the gladiolus peak their little heads out of my tossed soil. So, this entry is only half finished. To be continued in the Spring of 2011.
May 23rd...The finale of Lost. This however is one of those more tragic events. Not because it's over but because the finale was a mess...7 years of my life spent analyzing what it was all about FOR WHAT???
May 29th...Swell Season concert at the Brown. My lovely Glenn Hansard gave us all a great show. My only regret is he did not play my favorite Frames song "Fitzcarraldo".
May 30th...Visit to Mom's side of the family Youtlser Family Farm in Meade County, KY. After years of hearing about this farm it was great to finally walk around the vast lands that my rather recent ancestors roamed. Watching my mom hop over a fence was priceless. Technically, we were kinda trespassing which made it even more eventful!
October 16th...My niece Jean's 21st Birthday Bambi Walk. Sitting in Seidenfaden's with my sister and nieces was surreal.
October 31st...The premiere of my new favorite show Walking Dead. What an amazing television show. Sometimes the genre of zombie can be well, cheeky. Not Walking Dead. Full of suspense, characters that you really care about, fear for not only their lives but saddness for the loss of civilization and loss of our way of life. The only thing that can be improved on is if Lennie James (who was on the first episode) returns for the 2nd Season.
November 20th...Foodie Day 2010. Good food, excellent company and bottles of wine.
November 27th...First game at the new YUM Arena. All the seats are great, the beer is cold, the climb up and down to the seats is challenging. Note to self - don't drink too much beer!
So, there it is. My personal highlights of 2010. Looking back I realize that more than a few of these events involved excessive use of alcohol. I really don't drink that much. Really.
I didn't accomplish my New Year's Resolution for 2010. That was to read a book a week. I did get through 36 before work took over my life around mid-November. I haven't picked up a book since. I hope to start back this last week of the year and see if I can make it to 37. So, this year I publicy announce that I will do this in 2011.
What were your top 10 highlights of 2010? Give yourself time to look back and remember. I feel like I didn't have enough highlights. After all there are 365 days in the year and I could only find 10? Next year I'll work at finding time to make more. Maybe next year I'll have a top 20. Hey, that's an idea and the year after that a top 30...
originally posted on 12/23/10
Here is my top 10 list of eventful events of 2010...
April 10th...It was a beautiful Saturday morning for the annual MS Walk. This day was all for Ann, my friend who was so happy that morning to be among family and friends that love and support her. I'll never forget her beaming face and joyful smiles. She was like a child on Christmas morning. I look forward to the 2011 MS Walk.
Entire Week of May 10th...Vacation Week. A week of reading, reading and sleeping.
May 14th. Planted gladiolus bulbs in my backyard this day. I drank too many mojitos (note to self let's not drink liquor while flipping soil in the heat again!). Anyway, it began to rain softly while thunder tipped toed in. I sat outside for a while and enjoyed the moment. It was just a peaceful way to spend time. The best part of these ramblings though is next year maybe (fingers crossed) one of my highlights will be the day the gladiolus peak their little heads out of my tossed soil. So, this entry is only half finished. To be continued in the Spring of 2011.
May 23rd...The finale of Lost. This however is one of those more tragic events. Not because it's over but because the finale was a mess...7 years of my life spent analyzing what it was all about FOR WHAT???
May 29th...Swell Season concert at the Brown. My lovely Glenn Hansard gave us all a great show. My only regret is he did not play my favorite Frames song "Fitzcarraldo".
May 30th...Visit to Mom's side of the family Youtlser Family Farm in Meade County, KY. After years of hearing about this farm it was great to finally walk around the vast lands that my rather recent ancestors roamed. Watching my mom hop over a fence was priceless. Technically, we were kinda trespassing which made it even more eventful!
October 16th...My niece Jean's 21st Birthday Bambi Walk. Sitting in Seidenfaden's with my sister and nieces was surreal.
October 31st...The premiere of my new favorite show Walking Dead. What an amazing television show. Sometimes the genre of zombie can be well, cheeky. Not Walking Dead. Full of suspense, characters that you really care about, fear for not only their lives but saddness for the loss of civilization and loss of our way of life. The only thing that can be improved on is if Lennie James (who was on the first episode) returns for the 2nd Season.
November 20th...Foodie Day 2010. Good food, excellent company and bottles of wine.
November 27th...First game at the new YUM Arena. All the seats are great, the beer is cold, the climb up and down to the seats is challenging. Note to self - don't drink too much beer!
So, there it is. My personal highlights of 2010. Looking back I realize that more than a few of these events involved excessive use of alcohol. I really don't drink that much. Really.
I didn't accomplish my New Year's Resolution for 2010. That was to read a book a week. I did get through 36 before work took over my life around mid-November. I haven't picked up a book since. I hope to start back this last week of the year and see if I can make it to 37. So, this year I publicy announce that I will do this in 2011.
What were your top 10 highlights of 2010? Give yourself time to look back and remember. I feel like I didn't have enough highlights. After all there are 365 days in the year and I could only find 10? Next year I'll work at finding time to make more. Maybe next year I'll have a top 20. Hey, that's an idea and the year after that a top 30...
originally posted on 12/23/10
Things Sure Have Changed...
Remember back 20 years...
A typical Friday night might have evolved around visiting the local video store to pick out a movie or two to watch over the weekend. Sometimes you would be lucky if you were able to rent the hot new video of the week.
You might rush home at night to watch your favorite television shows. Sure, you could tape it on your handy VCR but it's was so complicated and the tape quality usually sucked. So, you would be sure to get home to watch in time. You'd have to (hold your breath now) watch the commercials!
Arranging for outings with your friends would require a phone call.
Ordering a pizza? You'd have to talk to an actual person on the phone at the pizza place.
To listen to music you'd have exciting choices like FM radio or whatever CD you could afford to buy.
If you ventured out into an area you were unfamiliar with you'd have to pull out a map.
Pictures from last weekend? You had to get them developed. Developed! (Explain THIS to your little ones.)
You actually READ the newspaper and there were NEW stories in every edition. Your primary source of information was the newspaper and the evening news.
Had an important job and needed to be in contact with work? Wear a pager. When you goes off you can find a pay phone and call in.
I'm not even getting into the fact that no one really got on the internet. The internet existed but remember dial up and message boards? No pretty graphics then. See something you want to print? Dot Matrix printers! Hysterical!
The world is getting smaller. Our choices in EVERYTHING is getting fairly infinite.
Medical advances are progressing so much that some say we are within years of figuring out how to live forever. (Does anyone really want to live forever? Not that I really want to die but I do see living forever a little tiring)
Can anyone else remember changes in the last 20 years that have changed dramatically? What changes are going to occur in the next 20?
originally posted on 07/01/11
A typical Friday night might have evolved around visiting the local video store to pick out a movie or two to watch over the weekend. Sometimes you would be lucky if you were able to rent the hot new video of the week.
You might rush home at night to watch your favorite television shows. Sure, you could tape it on your handy VCR but it's was so complicated and the tape quality usually sucked. So, you would be sure to get home to watch in time. You'd have to (hold your breath now) watch the commercials!
Arranging for outings with your friends would require a phone call.
Ordering a pizza? You'd have to talk to an actual person on the phone at the pizza place.
To listen to music you'd have exciting choices like FM radio or whatever CD you could afford to buy.
If you ventured out into an area you were unfamiliar with you'd have to pull out a map.
Pictures from last weekend? You had to get them developed. Developed! (Explain THIS to your little ones.)
You actually READ the newspaper and there were NEW stories in every edition. Your primary source of information was the newspaper and the evening news.
Had an important job and needed to be in contact with work? Wear a pager. When you goes off you can find a pay phone and call in.
I'm not even getting into the fact that no one really got on the internet. The internet existed but remember dial up and message boards? No pretty graphics then. See something you want to print? Dot Matrix printers! Hysterical!
The world is getting smaller. Our choices in EVERYTHING is getting fairly infinite.
Medical advances are progressing so much that some say we are within years of figuring out how to live forever. (Does anyone really want to live forever? Not that I really want to die but I do see living forever a little tiring)
Can anyone else remember changes in the last 20 years that have changed dramatically? What changes are going to occur in the next 20?
originally posted on 07/01/11
Misc. Old Poems
One More...
Not enough
make me forget
I'll ignore
the trouble brewing
need an escape
lose control
possessive it wants
more
consumes
the need
the urging
I feed on its desire
its wastes -
me.
All For What?
I did it
laid there while they
sucked that life
right out of my body.
I had to.
I was afraid of what
you would
say or do
if I told you
so I lied.
Kept the pain inside
all these years.
You always said
you would never
be ready
and now you call
tell me the news
how you and her
are having a baby
and I'm suppose
to sit here
in my silence
of what I gave up,
and all for what?
Time to Think : Airplane Ride
Waiting for my flight
the boy in the next row
sings the Old McDonald song
distracts -
need to forget
Sunday afternoon strolls,
romantic picnics,
flying kites,
brief goodbyes.
Making my way through the narrow aisle
I found my seat.
There are fifty minutes left alone to think
about the last two years and to forget -
a get-away to collect my thoughts.
Not enough time for reflecting.
Maybe I'll throw out the excess:
screaming fights
bursting out the door
down six flights of stairs
into the cold,
without a coat.
I wasn't going back
I would freeze first -
and I would.
But two blocks down he came running
with my coat in his hand,
tearful,
from the cold or emotion
(I'll never know which)
He wrapped me up,
like his package
taking me home.
Turning down the runway
the plane stops for its final pause before
thrusting into the sky.
Looking down noticing
how small everything has become -
as if unimportant.
Hurtful Feelings
Every Sunday afternoon
spent as a child
dad made chili with
his recipe of beans,
hamburger, spaghetti noodles
and tomato sauce -
thick.
Mrs. Beasley
with yellow yarn for hair
and I
would climb on the wooden bench
with my sister
say our prayers
and eat.
My sister and I would
kick our feet against
the bench's edge.
The clamor of the dishes
and voices
silence was often mistaken
for hurtful feelings.
A Screwdriver to Forget
Out the window
of the twenty-sixth floor
the ball game
at the stadium
across the hotel
let out - -
the fans
like ants,
exited the hill and poured into the streets.
I pulled my long brown hair
into a ponytail
slipped on my black and white
silk dress
went down the lobby
and out the brass doors
into the cool night air.
The crowd talked with drunken slurs
while children ran
up and down the curbs.
I pushed through the mob
as if I had a destination in mind,
stumbled upon the Locust Street
Underground Restaurant
and escaped into those narrow stairs.
The tables were empty
except for one
where an old man bit into his rib sandwich
and drank his Busch beer.
I took a table in the corner and
ordered a drink - -
a screwdriver
and dinner.
As the waitress placed the drink
on my table
I glanced over at the
opened glass doors that led to the bar.
I could see a few people
who were singing
as they held on to each other's shoulders
swaying back and forth.
My meal arrived,
I played with the potatoes
and steak -
left most of both.
I ordered another screwdriver
and watched from my table - -
a safe distance
from those in the bar
and remembered.
Thanksgiving Eve
is always the same
memory.
Its been two years
since I stood
on that wilted grass
feeling alone.
I was supposed to be
saying goodbye
for the last time
but that seems
so absurd
when there are
these reminders -
like today.
originally posted on 08/05/12
August Summer Day - A Short Story
It’s hot. On this August summer day the humidity laid there like a thick - invisible fog pouring over Amy’s soft skin. The sweat rolled off like bouncing rain drops. Amy is just a child of eight. Her hair, blonde, has not yet turned auburn. That change happens next year when even the soft curls that now frame her delicate features disappear. What will remain is a deep dimple on her left cheek when she smiles. But, smiles will become less common as she grows up, as they often do. Life confronts innocence as if in a dance of slowly dissipating dreams. But this day Amy is living only in the relevance of the day. Amy’s dad shakes the salt into his Fall City beer. She wonders why anyone would drink something that smells so - bitter. But Amy doesn’t know that word yet so to demonstrate her disapproval she crinkles her rounded nose at the smell. Her dad and brother are sitting outside drinking and talking, creating formations of words outside her complete understanding.
Amy cut some red roses that had fully blossomed from her mom’s rose bushes leaving very little of the stem. She tucked the roses in the pocket of her shorts. Her mom is inside with her two sisters Mage and Karen. She liked to place these roses in the green plastic mugs from the kitchen. As she ran into the house to get these mugs and water her mom yells to her to not slam the door. Of course, Amy does. She always slams the door. She’s eight and a bit thoughtless. Preoccupied always with whatever task is at hand. “Why must you always slam the door Amy?” Amy largely ignores this question posed by her mom because she has been asking the same question all summer long. Amy grabs the green plastic mugs from the kitchen cabinet and fills them with water from the sink. As Amy walks out with the mugs filled with water some water spills. Amy opened the door and she let it fly and boom the door slammed again. She could hear her mom yell again as she jetted off into the yard, “Why did you slam the door! Quit doing that Amy!” as she ran thru the yard her mom’s voice became smaller and smaller like a voice was going thru a long tunnel.
Amy approached the patio table where her dad and brother Ken were and laid the mugs with water down and took the first rose from her pocket and placed it inside a mug. Once all the mugs were filled with roses Amy sat down next her dad. Her feet would not yet touch the ground. She kicked her feet back and forth, legs swinging in mid-air while trying to ease into their conversation. Amy didn’t have to work too hard to get the attention of her dad or her brother. “What do you have there Amy?” her Dad asked. “Roses that I cut all by myself.” Amy responded. “Well that’s very pretty Amy. Amy,” her dad said, “could you not slam the door anymore? Your mom has a headache and I’m tired of hearing her complain!” She thought carefully about her Dad’s request. She looked up to him. The sweat from his forward was rolling down into his eyes. He took his glasses off and wiped his forehead and eyes with an old dish towel in one movement. While he was placing the glasses back on Amy responded, “Yes, Dad.” And for the rest of the day Amy carefully and thoughtfully shut the door quietly.
originally posted on 8/12/12
Amy cut some red roses that had fully blossomed from her mom’s rose bushes leaving very little of the stem. She tucked the roses in the pocket of her shorts. Her mom is inside with her two sisters Mage and Karen. She liked to place these roses in the green plastic mugs from the kitchen. As she ran into the house to get these mugs and water her mom yells to her to not slam the door. Of course, Amy does. She always slams the door. She’s eight and a bit thoughtless. Preoccupied always with whatever task is at hand. “Why must you always slam the door Amy?” Amy largely ignores this question posed by her mom because she has been asking the same question all summer long. Amy grabs the green plastic mugs from the kitchen cabinet and fills them with water from the sink. As Amy walks out with the mugs filled with water some water spills. Amy opened the door and she let it fly and boom the door slammed again. She could hear her mom yell again as she jetted off into the yard, “Why did you slam the door! Quit doing that Amy!” as she ran thru the yard her mom’s voice became smaller and smaller like a voice was going thru a long tunnel.
Amy approached the patio table where her dad and brother Ken were and laid the mugs with water down and took the first rose from her pocket and placed it inside a mug. Once all the mugs were filled with roses Amy sat down next her dad. Her feet would not yet touch the ground. She kicked her feet back and forth, legs swinging in mid-air while trying to ease into their conversation. Amy didn’t have to work too hard to get the attention of her dad or her brother. “What do you have there Amy?” her Dad asked. “Roses that I cut all by myself.” Amy responded. “Well that’s very pretty Amy. Amy,” her dad said, “could you not slam the door anymore? Your mom has a headache and I’m tired of hearing her complain!” She thought carefully about her Dad’s request. She looked up to him. The sweat from his forward was rolling down into his eyes. He took his glasses off and wiped his forehead and eyes with an old dish towel in one movement. While he was placing the glasses back on Amy responded, “Yes, Dad.” And for the rest of the day Amy carefully and thoughtfully shut the door quietly.
originally posted on 8/12/12
Things that are more appropriate for Facebook but there's not enough room....
or at least I don't think there is enough. For all those out there waiting breathlessly for another post about the Wisdom of the Sopranos you can disregard this post. I have watched the next episode and have wrote extensive notes. However, I don't have the energy at this time to develop a proper analysis. I promise to do so in the near future.
I have things of personal interest to me that I want to write about. Personal interest so this should work out since I'm pretty damn sure I'm the only one reading these blogs...
Here are the 3 issues of the day:
1) Love - Henry - Bemis. Don't know who he is? Watch the Time Enough to Last episode from the first season of the Twilight Zone. I didn't realize until very recently that I am a bit addicted to reading. My favorite way to pass the day away is reading. Doesn't have to be a book. It could be a newspaper or a magazine. I've caught myself in the past, when bored, reading labels off cans or fine print on a drug prescription. Anything and everything I can get my eyes on to READ. Now, I can take my mind of reading from time to time to watch a movie, ride a bike or eat (maybe a little too much time on that activity - more to follow). But, ultimately one of the greatest pleasures in my life is reading.
2) To expand upon the first issue - I love reading OUTDOORS better than inside a stuffy house. I can't wait for the weather to warm so I can park my butt outside with a stack of reading materials and some choice beverages and live it up!
3) I love craft beer. Especially the wheat varieties. I hate mass produced crap beer - I'm talking to YOU Miller, Busch, Coors! Why does anyone drink this shit? My heart sank when I found out one of my favorite beers was now owned by Anheuser-Busch. What do I do? My beloved Goose Island 312 is now owned by an evil empire. At least it appears A-B is leaving them alone and letting them continue to do business their way. The beer has NOT taken a dive. I appreciate that. I bought some Friday night so I could take a dive! I feel bad. Not from the excess drinking but the purchasing of this product. But, I know I can't save the planet one beer at a time, but I sure would love to try!
4) Hey I said 3 issues but I'm a woman who is rapidly approaching middle age and has a lot of stuff to say. So, if you have joined this rant and read this much why not continue??? Who is going to watch the new show on ABC Resurrection? Is anyone as disturbed as me about it? When you loose someone you go through the grieving process. You don't want it to be real. You expect them to walk through that door any minute. It can't be real. They didn't die. It's a mistake. But, as you walk through the grief time begins to gently fold into a new reality that is bleak at first but you slowly begin to overcome. So, why in hell to I want to watch a show that will only fool me in thinking that my loved ones could come back? I know it's just a television show. But, do I want THAT to slip into my unconsciousness?
I enjoyed this. If you read this far you either enjoyed it too or thought I was a crazy lady who had incoherent thoughts...If you are the former then why not become a follower? Sign up so I will have an inflated feeling of self worth and importance. If you are the latter you need to buzz off...
originally posted on 03/19/14
I have things of personal interest to me that I want to write about. Personal interest so this should work out since I'm pretty damn sure I'm the only one reading these blogs...
Here are the 3 issues of the day:
1) Love - Henry - Bemis. Don't know who he is? Watch the Time Enough to Last episode from the first season of the Twilight Zone. I didn't realize until very recently that I am a bit addicted to reading. My favorite way to pass the day away is reading. Doesn't have to be a book. It could be a newspaper or a magazine. I've caught myself in the past, when bored, reading labels off cans or fine print on a drug prescription. Anything and everything I can get my eyes on to READ. Now, I can take my mind of reading from time to time to watch a movie, ride a bike or eat (maybe a little too much time on that activity - more to follow). But, ultimately one of the greatest pleasures in my life is reading.
2) To expand upon the first issue - I love reading OUTDOORS better than inside a stuffy house. I can't wait for the weather to warm so I can park my butt outside with a stack of reading materials and some choice beverages and live it up!
3) I love craft beer. Especially the wheat varieties. I hate mass produced crap beer - I'm talking to YOU Miller, Busch, Coors! Why does anyone drink this shit? My heart sank when I found out one of my favorite beers was now owned by Anheuser-Busch. What do I do? My beloved Goose Island 312 is now owned by an evil empire. At least it appears A-B is leaving them alone and letting them continue to do business their way. The beer has NOT taken a dive. I appreciate that. I bought some Friday night so I could take a dive! I feel bad. Not from the excess drinking but the purchasing of this product. But, I know I can't save the planet one beer at a time, but I sure would love to try!
4) Hey I said 3 issues but I'm a woman who is rapidly approaching middle age and has a lot of stuff to say. So, if you have joined this rant and read this much why not continue??? Who is going to watch the new show on ABC Resurrection? Is anyone as disturbed as me about it? When you loose someone you go through the grieving process. You don't want it to be real. You expect them to walk through that door any minute. It can't be real. They didn't die. It's a mistake. But, as you walk through the grief time begins to gently fold into a new reality that is bleak at first but you slowly begin to overcome. So, why in hell to I want to watch a show that will only fool me in thinking that my loved ones could come back? I know it's just a television show. But, do I want THAT to slip into my unconsciousness?
I enjoyed this. If you read this far you either enjoyed it too or thought I was a crazy lady who had incoherent thoughts...If you are the former then why not become a follower? Sign up so I will have an inflated feeling of self worth and importance. If you are the latter you need to buzz off...
originally posted on 03/19/14
exposed
barefoot on the cracked linoleum
tripped a tangled mess of lies
left frozen in the air between us
in the moment truth evaporated
immobile while what was said surfaced
like sink snaked muck
words wrapped - dispelled -
threatened to finish -
everything
originally posted on 2/13/13
tripped a tangled mess of lies
left frozen in the air between us
in the moment truth evaporated
immobile while what was said surfaced
like sink snaked muck
words wrapped - dispelled -
threatened to finish -
everything
originally posted on 2/13/13
Slumber
Slumber
while birds make their daily pass over
the cool brown water
that churns below with fallen timber,
sludge and plastic garbage
I deposit my restless body
in the turbulent current
floating down with the rest.
Awaken
originally posted on 07/18/15
originally posted on 07/18/15
I Know
My sadness makes me quiet,
Reflective and numb
The cure is but a past time
Of what if,
what is,
what will.
Too frozen like the layers of icebergs
the color of aqua or
blue as your eyes that no longer journey to mine.
Your words blow out your mouth that register a growing disgust
like darts flying into a well-worn board.
Take them out when they land.
Throw them again and again.
The tracks of your truth hidden.
You think I don’t know
It’s all the same to me living as if I don’t.
But I know.
originally posted on 10/18/15
originally posted on 10/18/15
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